Putting up walls and protecting yourself is a normal part of life. You obviously don’t want to walk around fully exposed to every person you cross paths with. Keeping your guard up around the clock, though, can quietly drag on your sex life.
So how do vulnerability and intimacy fit together? Let’s check it out.
What it Means to Be Vulnerable During Sex
Before we get to the juicy bits, it’s worth nailing down exactly what we mean when we say vulnerability will enhance your sex life.
We’re not talking about ditching common sense or turning into a “yes” person who simply goes with the flow. If you tried messing around with the backdoor, hated it, and never want to revisit it, forcing yourself won’t be a good time. That’s perfectly fine, and clear limits are yours to keep. Being vulnerable doesn’t mean tossing every boundary out the window.
Instead, we mean the things you’re nervous to try or have never seriously considered. Maybe you’ve even fantasized about something you keep walled off, too anxious to bring it up with your partner and let it happen. Being vulnerable with that kind of thing can be a game-changer for your sex life.
How Being Vulnerable Improves Sex
With anxiety being such a massive sexual blocker, you might wonder why you’d willingly sit through the nerves of lowering your guard around things that rattle you, like touching a new spot or trying a more exposed position. It’s pretty simple, really.
Anxiety hurts your libido when it’s too intense or wrapped around things that tear you down, like low self-esteem. When the nerves are built around trying something new and then enjoying it, it’s a completely different story.
Think back to your first party invite. You were probably a little anxious, jittery while getting ready, the anticipation stacking the whole drive over, and by the time you walked in you were practically bursting with it. Then you had a great time and made an awesome memory. Being vulnerable during sex works much the same way.
Say you’ve got your guard up about a partner being near a certain part of your body. It’s not a hard boundary, just a spot where you’re self-conscious and braced for embarrassment. Choosing to let them go there slowly builds your anticipation as you work up to it, and then you flip when you realize how much you actually enjoy it.
That’s even sweeter when it’s something you’ve fantasized about but always refused to try.
Other Ways Vulnerability Helps Your Sex Life
The anticipation that builds from doing something nerve-racking is great, and it’s the core payoff of being vulnerable during sex. It’s hardly the only one, though.
1. Connection with Your Partner
The most obvious benefit of vulnerability is the excitement, but the deeper one is how it pulls you closer to your partner.
Sex is an intensely intimate act. Even a little guarded, it takes a lot to feel comfortable enough with someone to do it. When you drop that guard, expose the parts that make you even more nervous, and it goes well, it’s like discovering you can trust your partner more than you knew. That ripples through the rest of your life together, not just the bedroom but all the small day-to-day things too.
2. Trying New Things
When you push your walls aside and open up to new experiences, you learn more about your sex life and what genuinely gets you going. Being vulnerable enough to try those spicy new things either of you wants might leave you loving it far more than you expected, getting you off in ways you never thought possible.
This is also why older people tend to have better sex. They’ve already worked through this stuff and learned these things about themselves. Drop your guard and lean into vulnerability, and you can figure it out far faster than most.
3. You Stop Stressing Over Sex
It’s hard to feel fully comfortable in the bedroom while you’re busy holding your guard up. Even when your walls sit around things that don’t stop sex outright, the moment something drifts near one of those barriers, you get yanked out of the moment.
Once you commit to being more vulnerable with your partner, it may take a try or two to really get there, but soon enough you’ll find yourself far less stressed during sex. You lock onto the fun and the sensations instead of guarding that one nervous spot or hiding that one wrinkle, and that comfort leads straight to better sex.
How Kinki Helps You Open Up to Your Partner Between the Sheets
It sounds easy on paper, but being vulnerable with someone is pretty tough. Even if you’ve been together a good while and trust them, the walls you’re protecting likely went up long before you two met, and they don’t come down on command. Kinki can help.
Kinki uses a natural blend of ashwagandha, maca, longjack, red ginseng, rhodiola, and DHEA to balance hormones, boost your energy and libido, and improve blood flow the way you’d expect from a sex booster, and it also lowers stress and anxiety while lifting your mood. That puts you in the right headspace to open up and stay vulnerable while your performance climbs right alongside it.
Kinki comes in delicious sex chocolate and our brand-new honey packs to suit every sweet tooth. If you want to be vulnerable with your partner and have better sex, try Kinki sex chocolate and honey packs today.