This is something you might have experienced that seems really confusing. You have a wild sex drive, you want a relationship, and then you find that one person who seems like they’re the one, and your sex drive disappears. They’re not revolting, they haven’t done anything that’s obviously wrong, and you’re clearly into them. Your libido just suddenly doesn’t want anything to do with them after you make it official.
That’s extremely stressful for you and your new partner, and because it’s not talked about, you might even feel like you’re the only one experiencing this problem.
Well, you’re not alone. It’s actually fairly common, and there are reasons for it. You don’t need to break up with your new partner, blame yourself, or even blame them. There are ways to fix it.
Why Your Sex Drive Disappears in a Relationship
Most couples eventually experience libido problems. It might be stress that builds up as they get older, natural changes in body chemistry, or bad bedroom habits ruining the mood over time.
That’s not what you’re going through. That type of libido problem takes time or some uncontrollable factor such as hormone changes and stress.
There are several reasons this can happen to you, and none of them are reasons to panic.
1. The Chase is Done
This is extremely common. If you get hyper fixated on something, you can feel a wave of enthusiasm and excitement for whatever it is until you get it. Then, that excitement wanes, and you just aren’t as enthusiastic. Think of it like seeing something from your favorite hobby in an ad, you can’t get it until payday, and the entire week leading up to it, you can barely contain yourself. Then, you get it, you have fun for a short time, and while you still like it, you’re just not as enthusiastic.
That period where you’re just talking to someone is exciting. You don’t know much about them, you’re probably seeking their approval, and everything feels like a shot of dopamine. That doesn’t last forever, and as you settle into the relationship, your sense of excitement and curiosity can drop a lot.
2. Hormonal Changes
Your hormones play a big part in this, as well. When you’re pursuing a sexual relationship, your hormones kick into overdrive, and you want to jump between the sheets with them as soon as possible.
However, once a relationship starts and things cool down, your hormones start to shift. Hormones play a big part in your libido in general, and the fluctuations that happen at different phases of a relationship will definitely have an impact.
3. Stress
Nobody ever wants to be honest about it, but starting a relationship is stressful. It’s all fun and games when you’re talking and going on an occasional date, but once you start getting serious, there’s a lot of new things you have to adapt to.
You’re essentially melting your lives together. You’re worried about the other person’s needs and wants, combining schedules, working with finances, and more.
Stress is a big problem for your libido, and it’s common for the stress of a new relationship to cause problems. In fact, this is often what drives people apart when everything seemed fine, and you really don’t know if you’ll last until you get beyond the honeymoon phase to experience this stress.
Is It Normal for Libido to Drop in a Relationship?
The good news is that this is entirely normal. It’s certainly not the best thing for the relationship or your sense of satisfaction, but it is something that most people deal with to a certain extent.
If you went from having sex multiple times a day to barely getting it in a couple times per week, consider your sex life perfectly healthy. Most people tend to do it about twice a week in a long-term relationship.
The problem tends to occur when your sex drive completely plummets, and you simply don’t want sex at all. A lack of sex can drive a wedge between couples, lead to more stress, and eventually, deteriorate the relationship.
Keeping Your Libido Alive After Starting a Relationship
Don’t panic if you’ve noticed that you don’t have a libido now that you’ve gotten into a relationship. You’re not doomed to suffer through a lackluster sex life, you don’t have to feel like you’re not meeting your partner’s expectations, and there are several ways you can turn things around.
1. Slow Things Down and Spice Things Up
First, try to take things slow during the dating phase. It’s exciting, but you don’t want to get fixated on the chase and disappointed by reality. This also makes you more comfortable later on and you’re more likely to get through the stressful moments as the relationship starts.
Beyond that, spice things up once you do start the relationship officially. The start of a genuine relationship should make you more comfortable trying new things instead of sticking with a routine. So, keep things interesting and try new stuff.
2. Use a Libido Booster
Taking things slowly might help if your problem has more to do with your approach to relationships, but it isn’t a great fix for everyone.
One thing that can help get things moving again is a libido booster.
A libido booster is a natural blend of time-proven ingredients that can help support your mood, energy, and arousal when your body is not catching up with your desire. You can use it to get over the initial slump, or it can be a great option for regular sex.
Try Kinki to Keep the Spark Alive
You don’t have to leave a great partner over sex drive issues, and you don’t have to accept not having lots of great sex. Just try Kinki.
Kinki has ashwagandha, maca, red ginseng, rhodiola, DHEA, and longjack to help support stress relief, libido, energy levels, and hormonal balance for natural, raw sex you’ll love.
And when you want something discreet for date nights, travel, or spontaneous moments where the spark needs a little help, the Kinki Honey Pack gives you another easy option for supporting energy, stamina, and romantic engagement without making the whole thing complicated.
Don’t let a low sex drive stress you out. Try Kinki today.